All posts by : Lairissa

There’s a certain kind of loneliness that only exists in digital spaces — a loneliness you can’t explain to people who haven’t lived it.

It doesn’t feel like isolation at first. Not when the DMs keep coming, or the likes roll in. Not when your notifications are full of hearts, 🔥 emojis, and “you’re stunning.” But when something truly frightening happens — when you’re vulnerable and in need of someone to really see you — all of that noise fades. The comments, the reactions, the fake closeness… it vanishes into static. And you’re left alone with the truth: attention isn’t the same as connection.

But that’s the thing about digital closeness: it feels intimate — but often, it’s not.
Many of the relationships we build here are surface-level, performative, or transactional — even among those we want to trust.
It’s not always out of cruelty; sometimes it’s just misalignment.
You reveal something painful, something real — and the response you get is a reaction meme. Or worse, silence followed by a selfie.
It can leave you wondering, “Did they even hear me? Did they even care?”

These moments don’t just sting — they clarify.
They show you which connections were built on mutual depth… and which were built on mutual content.

I recently experienced something that shook me. A message — aggressive, threatening — sent from someone I had already blocked. Someone I wanted no contact with.
It was targeted. It was meant to intimidate.
And it worked.
I felt afraid. I felt alone.

And so, like anyone would, I reached out to people I thought cared about me.
I shared screenshots. I explained. I waited for someone to say, “That’s not okay,” or “I’m here with you,” or even just, “I see you.”

But what I got was silence. Or advice. Or a deflection.
Or casual commentary that skimmed the surface but never touched what I was actually feeling.

And in that moment — more than the threat itself — what hurt most was the emotional absence of the people I reached for.

You see, when you live a virtual life, even the people closest to you are still far away.
You might share creativity, stories, captions, ideas — even love.
But when something real and raw breaks through the surface, that distance can feel like a canyon.
A message sent into the void.

I don’t blame anyone.
I understand that people respond in the ways they know how.
But this taught me something I didn’t want to learn:
Not everyone you laugh with will sit with you when you cry.

So I’m writing this not out of anger, but from reflection.

To anyone else who has felt this —
Who has been hurt online,
Who has reached out for comfort and met silence,
Who has felt invisible in their most vulnerable moment —

I see you. And you are not alone.

I still believe in kindness. I still believe in friendship — even the virtual kind.
But I’ve learned I need to protect my softness — and reserve it for the people who know what to do when I show it.

This experience didn’t break me.
It opened my eyes.
And from that clarity, I’m rising — stronger, steadier, and no longer looking for comfort in places that couldn’t offer it.