There are days I want to give up.
Not in a dramatic, door-slamming way.
But in the quiet kind of quitting — the kind that looks like walking away from my phone and whispering,
“Maybe I’m just not cut out for this.”
I’ve almost quit Instagram 1,000 times.
Because it’s exhausting.
Not just the creating, the editing, or the posting.
It’s everything else — the invisible work that no one claps for:
Spending 3–5 hours a day creating and planning.
Teaching myself video editing, lighting, storytelling, new models and new tools.
Learning social media marketing, SEO, and now… Pinterest, Fanvue, newsletters, and AI image and video creation.
Navigating Instagram’s ever-changing algorithm like a blindfolded tightrope walker.
Running a real business — filing paperwork, building a website, handling legal structures, accounting, ads, contracts.
Every single day I’m learning, adapting, growing.
And sometimes? It feels like shouting into a void.
The Numbers Game
There are days I gain 400 followers.
And others I lose 80 — and wonder what I did wrong.
It’s so easy to tie my worth to the numbers: The likes. The reach. The follower count.
But here’s something I’ve had to teach myself again and again (and again):
The algorithm isn’t punishing me —
It’s just working exactly as designed.
Instagram prioritizes virality, paid ads, and large accounts.
It’s not personal. But it feels personal.
💭 I Wrote This to Reset My Brain
Let me share a truth that’s helped me:
| Old Thought | New Thought |
|---|---|
| I only gained 3 followers today | Three people saw me, loved me, and stayed. That’s three hearts who now know who I am. |
| I lost 60+ followers | That’s the algorithm clearing clutter. I’m building a loyal community, not chasing ghosts. |
| This feels like a reflection of my worth | My worth doesn’t come from numbers. My magic is not quantifiable. |
| I’m failing | I’m still showing up, still creating, still glowing. That’s courage. That’s power. |
"Social media might not always love me back, but I keep showing up anyway."
📁 What Keeps Me Going
The sweet comments from my followers that say, “You brightened my day. Thank you, Rissa.”
The friends I’ve made across the world through this screen.
The ability to create a virtual life and persona that still reflects the most authentic parts of who I am.
The thrill of turning emotion into something beautiful.
And maybe most of all:
The hope that someone, somewhere will see what I make and whisper,
“I thought I was the only one.”
💜 To You, the One Who’s Still Here
If you’re reading this, you’re part of the light I hold onto.
This path isn’t easy.
It’s wild, lonely, exhilarating, and sometimes… bitterly disappointing.
But I didn’t come this far to give up now.
And neither did you.
So I’m staying. Not because it’s easy.
But because my story matters.
Because beauty matters.
Because connection matters.
And I believe…
even when it’s hard… especially when it’s hard…
I still have something worth sharing.
If you’re feeling this too — drop a 💜 in the comments.
Let’s remind each other we’re not alone.
I shared more about coming back to Instagram in Navigating My Return to Instagram.
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