Intro:
Over the past few days, I’ve found myself in a place I never imagined—disconnected from a platform that has been such a significant part of my life. Instagram has always been my creative space, a place where I’ve shared my love for beauty, positivity, and connection. But something happened recently that shook me to my core, and I felt compelled to step away. I made a comment in jest, something meant to be lighthearted and fun between friends, only to find it labeled as a violation of community guidelines. Suddenly, the platform I loved and trusted was telling me I had done something wrong, something harmful. It felt like a punch to the gut, and in a moment of frustration and sadness, I deactivated my account. Now, I’m left grappling with feelings of loss, shame and embarrassment, wondering if I made the right decision and struggling with the idea of returning. This blog post is my way of working through those feelings and sharing my story with you.
The Misunderstanding:
Over the weekend of August 10-11, I attended the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and shared some fun images of myself in biker wear, surrounded by roaring motorcycles. My Instagram friend Meg saw my posts, and soon we were both sharing and commenting on each other’s Rally adventures. The weekend was filled with excitement, and it only got better when Meg suggested we collaborate on a post. She created an incredible image of us at Devil’s Tower, Wyoming, dressed in leather outfits, which she posted on Saturday. It was the perfect way to celebrate our time together.
On Sunday, after a long drive back home to Breckenridge, I opened Instagram to find that Meg had posted one last image from the Rally, saying how much fun she had with me. I commented with a playful response: “Thank you, Meg! We made memories that will last forever! What a blast! And yes, now for the long drive home. Next year is the 85th Rally! Let’s make sure we kidnap @lorijunetwo and take her along next year! 
” It was meant to be lighthearted and fun—just friends joking around.
Afterward, I went to have dinner, feeling content. But when I returned to Instagram an hour later, I was blindsided by a notification. Instagram had flagged my comment, claiming it violated their Community Guidelines. The message read, “It looks like you shared or sent something that could encourage violence and lead to risk of physical harm, or a direct threat to public safety.” I was stunned. How could a joke between friends be interpreted as inciting violence?
I thought it must be a mistake—a bot misinterpreting the context. I immediately requested a review, confident that a human would see the comment for what it was. I went to bed that night feeling hopeful.
The next morning, I woke up eager to see the results of the review. I was sure that Instagram would overturn the decision. But when I checked the app, I was hit with the devastating news: the review upheld the flag. They had determined that my comment indeed broke the guideline, accusing me of inciting violence and physical harm. My heart sank.
I started to cry, overwhelmed by the accusation. My entire Instagram presence has been about spreading positivity, love, and joy. I’ve always taken pride in uplifting others, making them smile, and being a source of support. And now, Instagram was labeling me as an inciter of violence. It felt like a complete betrayal of everything I stand for.
In that moment of hurt and anger, I made a decision. I navigated to the settings and deactivated my account. My hands were trembling, but I couldn’t bear the thought of staying on a platform that accused me of something so opposite to my nature. Afterward, I threw my phone down and curled up in bed, sobbing.
The Decision to Deactivate:
After deactivating my Instagram account, I felt a rush of mixed emotions—relief, anger, and a deep sense of sadness. In the heat of the moment, it felt like the only way to take back control, to protect myself from the overwhelming hurt that Instagram’s judgment had caused. But as the hours passed, that initial relief started to fade, replaced by a growing sense of shame and embarrassment.
I began questioning my actions, wondering if I had overreacted, if maybe I had let my emotions get the best of me. Deactivating my account felt like a drastic move, almost like I had thrown a temper tantrum in response to being misunderstood. And now, here I am, left to grapple with the aftermath of that decision.
The shame is particularly difficult to shake. I can’t help but feel like I let down my friends and followers—the people who have supported me, cheered me on, and been part of my journey on Instagram. I walked away from them without explanation, leaving them wondering why I suddenly disappeared. And the embarrassment? It stems from the fear that if I do return to Instagram, I’ll look foolish, like I’m crawling back after a moment of weakness.
These feelings have weighed heavily on me, making it hard to think clearly about my next steps. Should I stay away and focus on healing, or should I confront these emotions head-on by rejoining the platform? The truth is, I’m still not sure. All I know is that this decision has opened up a whirlwind of emotions that I’m struggling to navigate.
As the days have gone by, the weight of this decision has only grown heavier. The initial anger has subsided, but it’s left behind a lingering sense of doubt. Did I make the right choice? Was deactivating my account a necessary step in protecting myself, or was it an impulsive reaction driven by hurt and frustration? The more I think about it, the more complicated it becomes.
There’s also the question of what happens next. If I return to Instagram, how do I do it without feeling like I’ve lost something in the process? How do I explain my absence to my followers in a way that doesn’t feel like an apology, but rather an honest reflection of what I’ve been going through? And if I decide to stay away, how do I fill the void that Instagram has left in my life—the creative outlet, the connections, the sense of community?
It’s a difficult decision, and there’s no clear answer. But what I do know is that I need to be gentle with myself during this process. It’s okay to feel confused and unsure. It’s okay to take my time in figuring out what comes next. And most importantly, it’s okay to acknowledge that this experience has shaken me in ways I didn’t expect.
Right now, I’m focusing on finding clarity. Whether that means taking more time away from Instagram or slowly reintroducing myself to the platform, I need to do what feels right for me—not what I think others expect of me. This journey is mine, and I’m determined to navigate it in a way that honors my feelings and experiences.
Reflection
As I sit with the aftermath of deactivating my Instagram account, I’ve had time to reflect on what this platform really means to me and how it’s shaped my sense of self. Instagram has been more than just a place to share photos—it’s been a creative outlet, a source of connection, and, at times, a measure of my self-worth. But this experience has forced me to confront the darker side of that relationship.
In the days since I stepped away, I’ve realized how much I relied on the instant validation that likes, comments, and follows provided. It’s easy to get caught up in the numbers, to equate engagement with value, and to forget that my worth isn’t defined by an algorithm. The incident with Instagram’s guidelines shook me because it felt like a rejection of everything I stand for. But maybe it was also a wake-up call—a reminder that my true value isn’t something that can be measured by an app.
This period of reflection has made me more aware of the pressures that come with being an influencer. The constant need to post, to stay relevant, to grow my following—it can be exhausting. And while I’ve loved sharing my journey with others, I also need to recognize when it’s taking a toll on my mental and emotional well-being. It’s okay to step back and reassess, to prioritize my own happiness and peace of mind over the demands of social media.
Moving Forward
So, where do I go from here? The truth is, I’m still figuring that out. Part of me wants to return to Instagram, to reconnect with my followers and continue sharing my journey. But another part of me is hesitant, unsure of how to move forward without falling back into the same patterns that led to this point.
If I do return, I want to do it differently. I want to approach Instagram with a renewed sense of purpose—focusing on the joy of creating and connecting, rather than the pressure to perform. I want to be more mindful of the content I share, making sure it aligns with my values and brings positivity into the world. And I want to be kinder to myself, recognizing that it’s okay to take breaks, to step back when I need to, and to prioritize my mental health above all else.
But moving forward might also mean exploring new avenues for creativity and connection. Perhaps there are other platforms or mediums where I can express myself in ways that feel more authentic and less tied to the pressures of social media. Or maybe it’s about finding a better balance, where Instagram is just one part of a broader, more fulfilling creative life.
Whatever path I choose, I’m determined to move forward with intention, making choices that honor who I am and what I stand for. This experience has been challenging, but it’s also been a valuable reminder that my journey is my own—and I have the power to shape it in a way that feels right for me.
Final Thoughts
This chapter of my journey has been filled with unexpected twists and emotional challenges. Deactivating my Instagram account was not something I planned, but it’s given me the space to reflect on what truly matters to me. I’ve realized that my worth isn’t tied to likes or followers, and that I have the strength to navigate even the most difficult of situations.
As I move forward, I’m committed to being more mindful of how I engage with social media, and to prioritizing my well-being above all else. Whether I return to Instagram or explore new creative outlets, I know that I’m on a path of growth and self-discovery.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way. Your encouragement and understanding mean the world to me, and I’m grateful to have such a wonderful community behind me. This isn’t the end of my journey—just a new beginning, one where I’m more in tune with myself and what I want out of life.
Here’s to embracing the unknown, finding clarity in the chaos, and continuing to spread positivity and love in whatever form that may take.
I read your reflections … I feel with you, deeply. Be sure that I valued you as an individual, creative being. I’d be happy to see you back. No embarrassment, no shame.
Thank you, Tara, for your support. You are such a wonderful person who I have the utmost admiration for! 🤗❤️
I support you anyway to choose. I have struggled with the relentless grind of posting and being positive everyday. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to do what makes you happy. I like you for who you are. You show me who you are by your words and your actions.
Hey Lairissa,
Really missing you, I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I want to tell you about some of my experiences with IG.
I’ve had many comments removed, even for saying simple things such as admiring someone’s work. I’ve also had many restrictions applied to me, and I’ve been so upset that I’ve suspended my account and very nearly deleted it.
I think I was away for four or five days, but it was a complete IG break and gave me time to think. I’m relieved I didn’t delete it, as it would have wasted so much hard work.
I’ve also learnt to work within the algorithm and avoid certain words as they will never look at context, only that a particular word was used.
If I’m in doubt, I won’t use a word or spell it by replacing odd letters with numbers. Whatever you decide, make sure it is what works for you and don’t feel pressured.
I find your honesty, passion and self-awareness deeply inspiring. Most people in this life Larissa would never take the time to really reflect and put so much thought and effort into what may seem to most like a banal inflection point but to you it’s much more meaningful and resonant. I am proud of you for sharing so openly.